Do You Worry?
October 27, 2008 by Deanna Collins
I am so excited! I am honored to present you with my featured guest blogger today, my friend Dorothy. She writes for us today on the topic of worry-who can’t relate to that? I assure you that you will be moved by her thoughtful, honest, and heartfelt blog post today. Feel free to leave a comment and you will be entered to win a Gratitude Signature Leather Necklace.
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Worry is lousy, isn’t it? I spent a great deal of time in my late 20’s and early 30’s with that horrid emotion and it wouldn’t make me feel very good right now to know exactly how much time I wasted in this life that God has given to me on WORRY. My husband and I dealt with infertility for many years and practically every waking moment during those years was plagued with worry. I used to read books to find reasons “why?” I prayed. I cried. I ate too much. I joined an online support group to worry with others who were in the same boat. I felt really horrible about myself. I felt so out of control. In the midst of it all I used to wish for it (the pain, the suffering, the worry) to be over. I prayed for a pregnancy – for a baby. I prayed for God to give me what I wanted. I wanted God to give me answers and tell me why I had to suffer so much.
None of the reasons why I was suffering became apparent until later. God had bigger plans for us. We have two beautiful children that we adopted from Russia and we can imagine our lives NO OTHER WAY. It all makes sense now…but then…I just didn’t get it and I was angry and upset and CONSUMED WITH WORRY.
All those precious moments I spent worrying….I can never get them back. Ever. I didn’t really find ways to cope properly back then with worry. For me – this came with more life experience and time spent with myself – in deep thought.
We all worry. It might not always be about HUGE things – like I am talking about above. It might be about a ton of little junk too, right?
When is the last time you worried? Was it a few moments ago? A few hours ago? Yesterday? Are you still worrying? How did/does that worry make you feel? Not so great, right? How much time did you spend worrying? Time wasted….but you know that, right?
We are all busy people. Many of us comment, perhaps daily, that there are “just not enough hours in the day.” So – why would we spend any of our very precious time with worry? It doesn’t get us very far, does it? It makes us feel uneasy, maybe even ill, it might give us stress headaches (migraines come from it, I know first hand). It makes us cranky and short tempered. It makes us cry. It makes us EAT. It makes us feel kind of out of control, doesn’t it? It keeps our mind off of other things going on around us – it keeps us from LIVING IN THE MOMENT. It keeps us preoccupied. That thing – worry – it’s just no good for us.
But we’re human. Human. Worry has a way of worming itself right on into our minds….a lot. Depending on your personality – this might happen to you quite often throughout your day with things as little as “Am I going to get the kids to school on time?!” or things as big as “I hope this spot on my face is not cancerous”.
What is important is for us to realize that worry is doing us no good. We can’t stop it from coming into our thoughts but we can use strategies to fight it and stop it from affecting us physiologically and mentally. We can use strategies to fight it and keep every precious moment of our lives focused on better things instead of on WORRY.
Here are some strategies I have success with when I am worrying and want to gain control over how the precious moments in my life are used:
- I pray about it. I give it up to God. He is there no matter what. He is there anytime I need Him. I find great comfort in this. He might not answer me right away – but the answer will come. I might just have to wait a little bit.
- I talk to good friends about it. A burden shared is a burden halved.
- I count my blessings. Just taking moments each day to count my blessings is enough to bring great happiness into my life and worry might not even be able to get in.
- I take action! This could mean educating myself about health matters, seeking professional assistance or it could be as simple as just readjusting a routine. This gives me a great feeling of being in control and does wonders for getting rid of that foul worry.
“There is nothing that wastes the body like worry, and one who has any faith in God should be ashamed to worry about anything whatsoever” – Mohandes K. Gandhi
“Sorrow looks back, worry looks forward, faith looks up.” – author unknown
Gaining control over worry takes work. If you have never really tried in earnest to do this, give yourself some time to get used to the fight. Worry is a strong, strong emotion and the fight is NOT easy. In time, you will find a strategy or strategies that work best for YOU and the fight will become easier and easier. Remember that this fight will ALWAYS take a very conscious effort on your part. If you do not consciously fight the worry – it will win. Sometimes I don’t make that conscious effort – and guess what? Worry wins. It wins. I’m still losing precious moments from my life….but these lost moments are much fewer and much farther between than they used to be……
Don’t let worry take anymore precious moments from your life. Life really is too short to waste anymore time on that emotion. Fight the good fight. Don’t let worry win.
Pray. Be grateful. And……..don’t worry.
Dorothy
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LEAVE US A COMMENT and you will be entered to win a Gratitude Signature Leather Necklace.
I had a dear aunt who on her death bed reminded me that no matter what our problems or worries are, there is always someone out there with bigger problems and worries than us.
Whenever I think of this, I can easily step back and see all the things for which I am grateful and can put the worries into “better perspective.” Then I say a prayer for the people who are worse off than I am. I remind myself daily that God, in his own way has, and always will, take care of me. So ultimately, there is nothing to worry about!
The hard part is putting complete trust in God and accepting whatever He has in store without asking “why?”
Thank you for a few words of wisdom in an utterly busy week. Only 6 days till the wedding – can’t wait to see your jewelry on the bridal party! I think I will come back to this posting a few times this week, as I need to be reminded that God is in control. The new website and Gratitude Blog are great.
I so agree with your strategies. It is easy to let worry creep into our lives, but the negative energy it breeds is definitely unhealthy. It is a challenge to overcome the lure of worry, but, like you, I have found the following to be helpful in helping me gain perspective.
1. Gratitude. When I start and end my day either saying what I am grateful for or writing it in my journal, it is like a burden is lifted. It changes the energy, and it helps me see just how blessed I am. Rather than worrying about how I am going get everything done, I give thanks that I have a job when so many other people are losing theirs.
2. Prayer – I often think of the verse from the Bible when Jesus tells us not to worry – he tells us to look at the lilies in the field – he takes care of them. Once I gave up my perception that I was in control things got easier – I just have to remind myself of this! Now I pray for guidance.
3. Breathe and take in nature – nothing is better than breathing and taking in the beauty around us. It calms the nerves and makes one appreciate just how lucky they are to be in the moment.
4. Stay in the present – just be, and appreciate every minute of each day, because you can. . . .
Jennifer
Worry is something we all do at some point in our lives.
I like your parting comment,,,
Don’t let worry take anymore precious moments from your life.
If we look at it as ‘wasted moments of our life’, I’m sure it might be easier to let it go. This time in our nation’s economic upset is especially worrisome!
What a lovely post and a beautiful necklace!
Worry – the feeling in the pit of your stomach and the tightness in your chest. It sometimes sneaks up behind when we least expect it. The key is to realize that many worry about the future, based upon the past. Once we realize that the past can not be edited, we can only move forward and that only we have the power to create our future. Thoughts are things, and thoughts create our reality. When worry does sneak up, concentrate on all the blessings in life. A roof over our heads, food on our table, being surrounded by those who love us. Get to a thought that makes you ‘feel’ good and then you are moving in the right direction…
That is a great story! Life is too short to sweat the small stuff! Everyone should stop what they are doing every day for about five minutes and count their blessings and see what they really have. I have been trying to do that since my mom died in her sleep 16 years ago suddenly on Thanksgiving Day at the age of 55. That started me on my spiritual journey. Enjoy your day!
Wow Dorothy do I relate to your description of worrying. I have had those moments… those months…
For me, I find that worrying never = solution. There is a solution to everything – absolutely everything. Worry only stands in the way of hearing what inspired action we should take.
Believe me – I’m not immune to worry. When I find myself mired in it I remember that I won’t “hear” the solution until I can get quiet – and sometimes that stillness doesn’t come easily.
But – once I can get still, and listen, the solution and the action become evident.
Worry is not productive, but yes I still do it sometimes. I try to remember to heal myself instead of worry now, though.
It takes a conscious effort to not worry. I am usually pretty good about it but when life gets busy and I loose focus it is easy to slip back into bad habits.
That necklace is beautiful!
Smiles!
Man, worrying certainly is a difficult habit to break. Say I’m worrying about finances. People think that once my finances clear up or I win the lotto all my worries will be gone. I doubt that very much. Either I’ll pick something new like my health or my relationship or I’ll continue to worry about losing all the money I just won!
Lets stop worrying!!!!
http://www.howihealed.com
I am a lifelong worrier. I think it’s wired into my DNA. But your blog is so true: worrying accomplishes nothing. It doesn’t get anything done, and it saps my energy. I like the “give it to God” advice. I do that a lot. I also sometimes give my worries to my spouse–because he’s my opposite. For instance, our daughter has a strange little bump on her face. Her pediatrician referred us to a pediatric dermatologist to get it checked out. Melanoma is very rare in kids, but it’s still scary. I said to my husband last night, “It’s nothing, right? It’s nothing. She’s okay, right?”
I just needed to hear him tell me that she is okay. That helped.
Love your post! When I finally realized that worry is an option and not a part of God’s plan, I gave it up!
I find that when I allow myself to worry all it does is breed more worry, then anxiety, then fear. So instead I acknowledge the worry, then accept it, then release it (sometimes this has to be done more then once ;-P). What a lovely post! Thank you!